wow. where did the time go? so much has been going on and obviously not blogging. i am sorry that i have disappeared for 2 months. life has been so busy and things that i love have fallen by the wayside. i have been trying to do too much and none of it well. i started this blog because i desperately wanted to become a part of the community i was reading about and wanted to do something i didn't think i could do. write. i wanted to be a part of something that i wasn't part of, but desperately wanted in on. you know when you were a kid and all the cool kids were playing together and you watched from the sidelines and wanted so much to join in with them, but were too afraid of being laughed at and not included. of really putting yourself out there and no one cared? no one paid attention? i decided that this year, i would take a risk and would create a blog. i struggle with finding the right words to express my feelings, with saying what is truly in my heart, because i can't grasp the word to explain it. i finally decided to just begin. i have been reading blogs of women that have made the most amazing friendships. they understand each other. they accept each other. they inspire each other. they encourage each other. i want and need that so much as i navigate where i am and where i want to be as i embrace the life i have always wanted and didn't think i deserved or was entitled to because i wasn't good enough.
well, needless to say as life got crazy the first thing to go was the blog. it's something i'm not comfortable with and struggle with.
i have come to realize that i miss it. i miss the feeling that maybe someone out there might just read it and associate with it. i have renewed my vow to blog. even if no one reads, i know i am taking that step in putting myself out there and maybe, just maybe, someone can relate and maybe, just maybe, i'll create my own community, my own friends, and we can build each other up and inspire one another to be brave, and put ourselves out there just like the women i admire and aspire to be like.
thanks for listening.
ox, mary ann
